How to Support Someone Experiencing Domestic Abuse

Supporting a friend or family member who may be experiencing domestic abuse can feel overwhelming. They might be unsure about what they’re going through, or they may not feel ready to name it as abuse. It takes enormous strength to speak about these experiences, especially when so many are dismissed or disbelieved.

If it’s safe, you can gently share the different types of abuse to help them make sense of what’s happening.

Women’s Aid has created the Friends and Family Handbook – a practical guide for anyone worried about someone they care about. It offers clear information and advice for friends, relatives, neighbours, and colleagues.

Learn about domestic abuse

Understanding domestic abuse helps you recognise what might be happening and equips you to offer meaningful support. You can share what you learn with others who want to help, and with the person experiencing abuse. Many survivors hold beliefs that minimise or excuse the abuse, which can make it harder for them to seek help.

Listen and validate

• Let them guide the conversation.
• Ask what feels safe for them.
• Respect their choices and let them set the pace of the conversation.
• Give them space to express their feelings and process what’s happening.
• Let them know you believe them and remind them that the abuse is not their fault.

Respect their choices

Domestic abuse is rooted in control. Avoid taking more control away.

• Support them in whatever steps feel right for them.
• Don’t pressure them to leave.
• Don’t make decisions for them.

Signpost support

Let them know they’re not alone. Share information about specialist services and organisations that can help.

If they’re comfortable, you can also agree on a safe word or phrase they can use to signal that something isn’t right – something casual like “I spilt my drink today.”

Know when to act

If they are in immediate danger, call the police.

In all other situations, follow their lead and respect their pace.

Look after yourself too

Supporting someone in an abusive situation can be emotionally heavy. Protect your own wellbeing and avoid putting yourself in unsafe situations.

Your words matter, even small acts of kindness can help someone feel seen, believed, and supported.

Your support could be the first step toward safety and healing.

Here are some gentle ways to start a conversation:

• “You haven’t been in touch much lately. Is everything okay?”
• “I’ve noticed you seem a bit down. Has anyone upset you?”
• “I’m here for you, whenever you want to talk.”
• “I believe you. This isn’t your fault.”

You are not alone. Support is available:

At Centre 56, we’re here to help and support you in any way possible, a member of staff will always be happy to help:

• 📞 0151 727 1355

• 📧 hello@centre56.org.uk

• 💻 Contact us: https://centre56.org.uk/contact/

If there’s an emergency that’s ongoing or life is in danger, call 999 as soon as it is safe to do so. If you can’t speak and are calling on a mobile press 55 to have your call transferred to the police. 

Support services:

If you’re a victim of domestic abuse, or know someone who is, you can get national help and support.

Click on each button to see full details about the service, including how to contact them.